ARE WE THERE YET?
The first book I recall reading as a little girl is "Little Women." If you haven't read it then seriously, get out of the house, go to the local library and rent it out, you won't regret it. It's a beautifully written and compelling story about Josephine (Jo) who has a dream to become a famous writer (girl after my own heart). She's a simple girl from a poor upbringing and desires to not only fulfill her dream and get published but to do it for her family. Throughout her journey, sweet Jo gives up so much before attaining this goal. She turns down the proposal of a man who loves her deeply, looses her sister to death, watches another sister marry an ex boyfriend, and eventually moves away from her family to the city of New York to accomplish this dream. Jo finds herself in the city alone, yet more focused than ever. Of course she gets published and we are all rooting for her! Jo not only gets published but along the way finds a man who understands and loves her just the way she is. The novel ends with her engagement to this man who loves her and supports her independence and dreams. The End.
The thing about this book is that Louisa May Alcott, author of Little Women, wrote this book as a semi-autobiography of her own life. Most of what you read was based off of actual real life experiences for Louisa and her sisters. She was a strong feminist for her time and was even one of the first women to register and vote in Massachusetts. Yet unlike Jo, the character based after herself, Louisa never married.
It's so interesting to me that the woman who lived the life of Jo felt compelled to weave within the story an addition of love. She wrote about the story of this beautiful family, the ups and downs and the dream of one girl to accomplish the impossible, yet it wasn't enough? I can only think that the reason why Louisa added this element of love to Jo's story is because she probably knew that deep down the readers wouldn't find it as compelling to read. In her life, Louisa expressed that she would've been much more satisfied ending the book with Jo publishing her work and that being the end of it, but her readers 'demanded' a happy, fairy tale ending.
So what am I getting at here?
We are conditioned from the moment we are exposed to the world to believe that true fulfillment and accomplishment in life comes from love and marriage. So much so that when we accomplish things, we still feel like part of us is missing. Even poor Louisa who endured more than most of us will ever face in a lifetime, had to end her beloved novel in love to reach the success she always dreamed of. It's kind of an oxymoron right? Louisa, a leader of the feminist movement, pressured into writing an ending to her book that in reality took away from the hardship she endured in order to actually accomplish this dream of becoming a world renowned author.
I have to be honest and say that I have felt like Louisa in this season of my life. I have seen the Lord bring to fruition the deepest dreams in my heart, yet there is still this desire and hope for more. Going to bed late after a long day and laying there alone makes me wish I had these moments to share with someone. Holding my brothers newborn baby girl reminds me of the longing I have for a family. Having the same response when my Grandmother ask me if I have a boyfriend is even getting old for me. And as my dreams become a reality, my heart wishes that I had more than a journal to document them in.
Yet even in this season God has shown me the fullness of His love. How easy would it have been for me to run to a boyfriend or spouse this past year when I was having a bad day? How quick would I have ran to my spouse for advice about handling a situation over seeking the Lord? During seasons of rejoicing and celebration, would the first call I make be to my spouse? Or would I take a moment to thank and praise Abba?
This season hasn't been easy, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. My singleness has truly been a gift and if God chooses to bless me with a help mate, I know that he will be just that. Help. They won't be the rock on which I stand, or the source of my accomplishments. Instead I will offer help to him and he, I during the many ups and downs of life.
So wherever you find yourself on this journey, don't rush to the next season and don't try to make things happen. Don't let the lies of the enemy make you miss out on the gift the Father is trying to give you; a deeper love and understanding of who He is.