I'M GOING THERE
I don’t know about you, but I find myself having the same conversations over and over when it comes to being a young, independent, and single 26 year old woman. I’m not talking about the awkward ones with your parents when they try to set you up with that one guy from back home over the one weekend you’re there a year. And I’m actually not talking about the other awkward ones where you find yourself explaining why you’re still single. Dear God why do people ask us why we’re still single? I’m talking about the ones we have with ourselves and one another as sisters in Christ. The ones where we tell each other to keep waiting, that he’s just around the corner. The ones in our mind that we create to convince ourselves that someone wants us as more than just a friend. The conversations where we over analyze every detail to come to the false conclusion that, ‘He likes me, surely he likes me; he’s not just being nice.’ Or better yet the conversations we don’t have. The one’s where we’re afraid to ask a man if he is interested for fear of losing the little, poor attention we receive from him at that moment.
I decided that I was tired. Tired of waiting for my life to happen. Tired of living a life expectant for Mr. Right to walk in the door and sweep me off my feet. Tired of having conversations with men while in the back of my mind wondering if they are ‘the one.’ Tired of feeling like I couldn't truly be taken seriously in ministry until I was married. So tired that I chose to seek God and find out why my heart, and the hearts of so many women I knew, desired a husband more than desiring Him. And in my seeking of these answers, I found what it means to have an abundant life. How to truly live free from the weight of waiting for Mr. Right. I found that the one thing I’d been looking for all along was staring at me in the face, but was too blinded by the expectations of others around me to look past them and see it.
So, I’m doing what every normal person does after all of these discoveries, I’m writing a book.
If I’m honest, I’m writing this book because I’m one of the ones who’s not buying it when every Christian girl says she’s content if the Lord never gives her a husband for the rest of her life. I’ve never understood why in some circles it’s not ok for me to say that I’m not content. Why would I say that I’m content being single for the rest of my life when I’m just trying to choose Him today?
Can I tell you something else? I’m terrified. Terrified to expose the depth of angst and struggle I’ve been through in this journey of singleness. It hasn’t been pretty. I mean how could it be when I desired a husband more than Christ? There have been a lot of fears that daily pop into my mind as I write further and get closer to forming what I know the Lord has placed upon my heart. What will people who know me think? Will I sound like one of those desperate Christian girls failing to sound content? Am I going to lessen my chances when everyone I know and then some can have access to my journey?
Yet today, I was reminded of the sweetest truth.
“What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave Him up for us all, how will He not also with him graciously give us all things?”
If God, who is for me and for you, calls us into things as crazy as writing a book, launching a ministry, moving cities on a whim, or quitting your job, then WHO CAN BE AGAINST US?
What would change in our lives today, in our circumstances if we read the word of God and believed Him at it. If we believed in our hearts that what He was saying was true. That He was trustworthy, and we could bet on Him and win every time.
HE LOVES YOU.
Take the gamble friends. Because no matter where you land, I promise you His hands will be there to catch you.